if 'fuck' offends you, you may not want to be here

Several times, I have thought starting a blog would be a good idea. I sign up, post once and relinquish my blog-virginity, and more often than not, never return. I could say I'm busy, but I'm not. I make time for plenty of other things. The truth is, I don't blog much because, well, odds are that nobody fucking cares. Let's be honest - most people don't really care what others blog about. I know nine times out of ten, I don't. Most people aren't as witty as they think they are. I know I won't be. Write a blog, and you pretty much set yourself up to be judged, even if people say they aren't.

Then again, it's my blog. So I don't care if you think I'm funny, I can get on my high horse and write what I want about whatever I want. People may be annoyed, people may not agree, but it's my fucking blog so I can do what I want without having to justify myself to anybody. And, I can say fuck as much as I want, and I'm pretty sure that's acceptable in blog-land, so back I am.

The Things That Nobody Told Me

These are the things that nobody ever told me. Nobody told me when I chose to have a child, that my life would be forever affected. And not just in the obvious ways; no free time, no alone time, nothing to myself ever again. Instead, I find that every decision I make is made with my daughter in mind. Do I go out tonight? What's for dinner? Do I dare vacuum the living room at 7 pm? Decisions that were so insignificant before, decisions that didn't warrant a second thought, decisions that at one time didn't even qualify as decisions.

And then, before you know it, it moves on to things more significant. Did my choices affect you? Will you remember them when you are grown? Will they shape you into the person you'll become? Will you understand me? Will you resent me? So many questions. So few answers. How do I ever know I am doing things right?